


destiny

by nohtaeng



Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, aromantic!taehyun, i hope this works out, tried going for angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 05:45:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13311762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nohtaeng/pseuds/nohtaeng
Summary: Destiny either loved or despised Taedong; there's no in-between.





	destiny

Taedong met that person long ago, when he was still a freshman in university.

 

“Excuse me, do you know where the toilet is?”

 

A foolish question, Taedong admits. Taedong could’ve asked them about directions to a certain community stall, but hell, he couldn’t miss this chance. Whatever comes out of his mouth as long as it’s legal. He _needed_ to talk to that person.

 

“Let me tell you the way,” that person said with a stunning smile on their face, “follow me.”

 

Spending more time with them? Destiny must really love Taedong.

 

***

 

Second meeting. An encounter Taedong had always been waiting for.

 

Taedong totally missed the chance back then as they were in a hurry, and he wasn’t that brave to start a conversation during the journey to the toilet. He hated that, and he wouldn’t miss this one again.

 

“You’re the person that told me the way to the toilet, weren’t you? During the campus orientation,” Taedong said. He gulped down; he can’t deny that he was nervous, facing the love of his life like this, but he must do this. “What’s your name?”

 

“Me? Taehyun.”

 

***

 

The two got closer.

 

Had lunch at the cafeteria, exchanged messages, said hellos and goodbyes whenever they meet. Even each of their circles became friends too.

 

Although he knew that it was platonic, Taedong still thought of it as progress.

 

***

 

Seasons passed, Taedong became a second-year, and his feelings for Taehyun grew stronger. He did have plans to confess, but hadn’t found the right time. At the same time, Taedong didn’t want to risk their already close friendship, so he held back and enjoyed his time as Taehyun’s dear friend.

 

“Now that I think about it, Taehyun. You have been single your whole life,” Taehyun’s friend since high school said during a drinking party between Taehyun’s and Taedong’s circle of friends. “Why?”

 

Taehyun hesitated a bit, but then he answered. “Well, I just, don’t, you know, I don’t feel romantically attracted to anyone.”

 

Taedong buried his plans to confess deep inside his heart.

 

He thought destiny loved him.

 

***

 

It was three o’clock in the morning, three days after he decided to give up confessing, when Taedong woke up because of a chest pain.

 

Thankfully, it happened briefly. Taedong then continued his sleep.

 

***

 

The chest pains happened again. They were brief, but came often that it bothered Taedong so much. He also had problems breathing once or twice, but he blamed the pollens; it was spring.

 

***

 

It was a calm morning when a chest pain happened again. Taedong then coughed a flower petal, white in color.

 

He got shivers down his spine.

 

No doubt about it; it’s that disease.

 

 _Fucking destiny_.

 

***

 

Taedong hid about having that disease from anybody else.

 

He lowered down his frequency of hanging out with his friends, and sort of avoided meeting Taehyun directly.

 

He didn't have that much of a hard time hiding it because the flower he coughed was only a petal; Taedong's trust in destiny came back a bit.

 

***

 

“I don’t see you around as often lately,” Taehyun said during a drinking session between the two after so long, “something happened?”

 

 _No. You should never find out._ “I got busy with… projects,” Taedong looked anywhere that was not Taehyun.

 

“I see. Good luck,” Taehyun smiled and Taedong’s chest tightened. “If something happens, tell me, okay?”

 

Taedong nodded. _Never in a billion years_.

 

***

 

It was during class that the chest pain happened again. It was more painful than before. Taedong tried to hide it, but alas, he got noticed by a classmate. The classmate excused themself to bring Taedong to the clinic, but then Taedong started having difficulties to breath.

 

Instead of bringing Taedong to the clinic, the classmate called an ambulance. Taedong then got dragged to the hospital. He coughed white flower petals en route.

 

Then it was official; the doctor diagnosed him with that disease.

 

***

 

“Had it not been my eavesdropping, I wouldn’t have found out about you here,” Taehyun said. Taedong was lying on the hospital bed, IV drip on his hand, looking half-dead.

 

Taedong had mixed feelings; happy because Taehyun visited him and sad because Taehyun found out.

 

“Right. Sorry for not telling you,” Taedong smiled.

 

“Good that you're sorry.”

 

Taedong coughed, and white flower petals came out again. “Argh, I kinda hate gardenias now even though you said you love them. Sorry, hyung,” Taedong tried to joke, but Taehyun just looked at him painfully. Taedong hated it. He hated the idea of the person he loved hurting because of him.

 

Taedong had spilled everything to Taehyun. From the start of the pain to the incident in the class to the doctor’s diagnosis. Everything.

 

Except the identity of the person Taedong was in love with.

 

***

 

The doctor said Taedong could get the roots removed from his lungs by surgery.

 

“I've heard that when you get that surgery, your feelings will die also,” Taedong said to the doctor.

 

“It could,” the doctor smiles. “But as of right now, nobody really know.”

 

***

 

“What? You're a dumbass. You're literally dying and all you could think of was losing your feelings?” Taehyun’s eyes widened in disbelief.

 

The doctor did say that most of his patients hesitated to do the surgery because of their fear of losing their feelings. They said that as painful as it was, it was still a feeling they cherish. Although they still went on with the surgery in the end.

 

“Well? Humans are weird that way,” Taedong laughed.

 

Taehyun smacked Taedong's head, disliking the joke Taedong said.

 

Taedong's laugh died down. “If only they reciprocated my feelings.”

 

“True that…” Taehyun whispered in agreement.

 

Taedong found it ironic.

 

***

 

“I hope your surgery a success,” Taehyun said, hopeful.

 

Taedong was touched at his beloved’s words. “Me too.”

 

“Good that you decided this. You don't deserve pain, you know. You deserve so much better than that person. That person totally missed out like I said.”

 

Taedong just nodded, listening to the older’s blabberings.

 

“Excuse me, but we're starting the surgery in a few minutes,” a nurse said from behind Taehyun, to which Taehyun nodded his head rapidly. (Taedong found it cute.)

 

“Listen up, big boy. After this, you’ll be free of the flowers. The chest pains. The stuffy feelings. I will say this again: you don't deserve pain. You deserve someone better. That person missed out a lot. I know you can do this--”

 

“You really did miss out, hyung.” Taedong cut Taehyun in the middle of his talking.

 

“What?” Taehyun asked hesitatingly; to check if he heard Taedong wrong.

 

“I said what I said. You missed out, hyung,” Taedong smiled.

 

Taehyun looked at Taedong in confusion.

 

“You were the best to me, though, hyung. I don't think someone out there is better than you,” Taedong continued.

 

Taehyun froze in his standing position, to which Taedong chuckled.

 

“I loved you, hyung. Or rather, I love you. I still love you. Ever since you took me to the toilet. Honestly I didn't plan on confessing. I was scared I'd ruin our friendship. Oh well.” Taedong sighed. “I just wanted to tell you this while I still feel this way. Sorry for burdening you.”

 

“I--”

 

Before Taehyun even started his sentence, Taedong cut him. “Anyways, don't blame yourself. It's totally my fault for falling in love with you. It's okay. I don't even regret it. I enjoyed every second with you.”

 

“Taedong, I--”

 

“Excuse me?” Once again, Taehyun got cut off mid-sentence, this time by the nurse.

 

“Move aside, small boy,” Taedong said to Taehyun, “everything's going to be okay. I'll meet you again after my surgery.” Taedong flashed the most heartfelt smile he could give to Taehyun.

 

“I'm… sorry,” Taehyun said. His voice was low.

 

“Don't be, I told you. Now go.”

 

Taehyun gave up and waved Taedong goodbye. After Taedong waved him back, Taehyun left the room.

 

The nurse was doing something on their clipboard when they were surprised seeing Taedong. “Sorry -- are you crying?”

 

“No, nothing. I just hope destiny is on my side,” Taedong mumbled.

 

***


End file.
